dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
