We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
