dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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