Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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