i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
