This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
