Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My vagina is very pro this idea
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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