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we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
don't judge my taste in strippers
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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