Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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