walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize