come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
