Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
