so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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