Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
