I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
