Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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