Please, let me fuck your mom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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