are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
