why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
