I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
