This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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