he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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