4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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