Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
