I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
