Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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