Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
