She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize