I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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