Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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