do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
