i barfeds in our rink
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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