No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
