the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
