Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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