Just cropdusted the office
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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