Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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