Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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