Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I will be naked everywhere
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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