just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.