so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why is there bacon in the couch?