Kiss
Puke
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
