I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
