i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize