You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
