I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
