I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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