Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
