sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize