happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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