I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
