Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize