I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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