i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
