He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
