I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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