Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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