you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
