i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
