my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize