Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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